If David Warner was simply looking for a reaction with his out-of-the-blue comments this week, he has certainly succeeded.
The response to the former Test opener’s offer to come out of retirement has been swift and brutal.
Warner – who will turn 38 later this month – was farewelled from Test cricket with a swansong at the SCG last summer that many pundits thought came three years too late.
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In an interview with News Corp this week he said he was “dead serious” about a desire to return to the arena and don the baggy green against India this summer.
Australia is searching for a new opening batter to partner Usman Khawaja and no one has been bashing down the selectors’ door.
But it seems almost nobody with a voice in Australian cricket is even slightly keen to see the fiery left-hand slugger back in the team.
“I think Davey is being Davey and he is looking for a reaction,” Warner’s former opening partner Chris Rogers told media on Wednesday, trying but failing to stifle a giggle.
“I had to laugh. I thought to myself maybe I should come to this press conference and say ‘I’m ready to go’.
“But then I did see Mitch Starc bowling (in the Sheffield Shield) and I thought no chance.”
Starc was throwing down thunderbolts for New South Wales against Victoria in what was the final red-ball match for Australia’s Test players before the Border-Gavaskar series opener in Perth next month.
His NSW captain Moises Henriques was a little taken aback when asked if Warner could make a Shield return next match in preparation for a Test reappearance.
“I’d have to have a conversation about the reasons that he wants to do it. Why?” Henriques said of Warner.
“And then again it’s another conversation with our selectors in terms of, I guess, are we holding back the next generation… or is it something that we need right now.”
If Warner had friends in the media during his Test career they were certainly quiet on Wednesday.
The Age’s cricket writer Daniel Brettig wrote an article entitled “nobody wants this”, while former News Corp heavy hitter Peter Lalor revealed he had received a call from Warner on Tuesday with a request to run the story.
“This is a drive-by shooting from a bloke in a clown car,” Lalor said on SEN radio.
“Go away, David, we’ve had enough. It’s not your time.”
Respected radio host and journalist Gerard Whateley is normally reserved in his criticism, but took both barrels to Warner in a column for SEN.
“The lack of awareness is breathtaking,” Whateley wrote.
“Australia indulged Warner too long, ignoring the urgent need for succession. And now that the successor is proving difficult to identify Warner thinks he’s the solution. Could you imagine?
“Do you think we could find the one person this morning who thinks this is a good idea?”
Luckily for all and sundry, Aussie coach Andrew McDonald has already batted away Warner’s offer.