Former Wallaby Justin Harrison has spilled the beans in a hilarious recollection of a 2003 door handle heist at The Lodge in Canberra.
After Australia lost an epic Rugby World Cup final against England in Sydney, Prime Minister John Howard looked to lift Wallabies spirits by inviting the team to dinner for a function at his official digs in the nation’s capital.
Harrison said the opportunity to acquire a piece of memorabilia from the evening “commensurate with my standing as a Wallaby” was too good to pass up.
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“We had a pretty solid night and tested the bar staff out and during the course of the night I tried to zero in on something easily identifiable from The Lodge and something that was matching my self proclaimed royalty status,” Harrison explained on Stan Sport’s Rugby Heaven.
“I zeroed in on quite a nice antique door handle that had an embossed coat of arms on it.
“Clearly quite good, from the Commonwealth. So I set about loosening this door handle, it was on the toilet door. Every time I took a trip I took a little knife and loosened it through the night.
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“By the end of the night I had it – in my pocket, out the door. I was pretty proud of myself on the bus, showing everyone that I’d got this.”
Harrison said his acquisition was clearly superior to those of his sticky fingered teammates, who had picked up teaspoons, salt shakers and the like.
The big lock was then kicking back in his lounge a few days later when his phone rang.
Take it away, Goog.
“On the other end of the phone is someone who introduces themselves as Constable Thompson from the Australian Federal Police. He says ‘are you Justin Harrison?’
“I said ‘yes I am, congratulations.’ He says to me ‘well, we’re just going through CCTV footage of the Wallaby function at The Lodge. We’re trying to locate a missing door handle, we can’t quite work out how it’s gone missing and who’s got it but we’re just ringing all of the participants of the night, just to see if they had any information because it’s quite a serious offence. It’s a heritage listed property, the Prime Minister’s property and it’s a crime against the Commonwealth and in fact the Queen.’
“Right, OK, so Harrison’s into ‘thanks very much Constable Thompson for ringing me, I’m pleased you’ve rung me because I think I can help. I’m going to do a bit of ringing around as well and try and find out. I know where a few of the boys are, I’ll give them a call. And just out of interest’s sake, if I was managing to locate the person who had said door handle, how would I encourage them to get the door handle back to The Lodge without having any further interaction with yourself’?”
Constable Thompson suggested Harrison simply send it back to The Lodge.
“So that was enough for me, I thought it was like when you write a letter to Santa, it will find its way there, North Pole,” Harrison said.
“So I’m out, I hung up, whack, I’m straight down to the Post Office, I’ve got the priority paid priority delivery, signed the thing, John Smith, 04007007 mobile number, whack in the parcel post, back up in the lounge inside 45 minutes, job done, where am I getting a beer?
“And 25 minutes later the phone rings again. I answer it – laughter – and I’m thinking ‘right, what’s this?’
“And it’s Martin Raftery, the team doctor, who has got his son to ring me and impersonate Constable Thompson from the Australian Federal Police, to provoke what I’ve just gone and done.
“Not only have I been tricked, I’ve lost my memorabilia, I’ve lost my handle because it’s in a priority paid package in parcel post on its way to who knows where, The Lodge.
“So Johnny H, I hope you got your handle back big fella!”
