Michael Vaughan has gone public with his stress-related health battle as the condition begins to take a toll on the English cricket legend’s daily life.
Vaughan played 82 Test matches and served as captain of England‘s Test team from 2003 to 2007. He has since progressed into the commentary box.
The Englishman revealed he has been battling the condition for the past nine months, with the first signs arising at Alfred Dunhill Links – an annual golf fusion tournament of golf stars and celebrities.
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Vaughan said he struggled to get out of bed the morning of the competition, with his health reaching a new low at the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne last year.
“On Boxing Day, I went to cover the Test between Australia and Pakistan, and I couldn’t lift the microphone,” Vaughan told the UK Telegraph.
“Matthew Weiss, the man in charge at Fox Sports, said: ‘You’re going straight to hospital.’
”I was put on the highest level of CBD Vape, the same substance that some cancer patients use to get rid of the pain.
“I still couldn’t tie my shoelaces, though. I couldn’t even do up the buttons on my shirt.
“Usually my Aussie mates say, ‘Aw, get on with it, mate’. But even they thought, ‘What’s going on here?’ They weren’t half as worried as I was.
“Your body doesn’t say, ‘You’re a former England captain, we’re not going to allow this illness to invade you’.”
The former England captain said he was left terrified after the incident, despite returning to the mic for the Sydney Test, claiming he “put up a front for a long time” in an attempt to hide his struggles.
“If you’re fighting something that you feel is wrong, and you’re doing it very publicly, I guess that’s what you do. But it wasn’t really me. Deep down, it was absolutely killing me,” he said.
“There were loads of times when I wouldn’t go out, because I was embarrassed. Even climbing in and out of a car was awful. I would try to walk over the road to Starbucks, and I’d be hobbling. Somebody would ask if I was OK. ‘Fine,’ I’d reply. ‘Just a dodgy knee’.”
Vaughan got scans in the UK, where he was cleared of any major illnesses and given medication that provided minor pain relief, before travelling to Australia.
On return to England, he was sent for a CT scan and was checked for lymphoma. The results were clear, with doctors revealing his stemmed from stress.
“I genuinely feared for the worst,” Vaughan said.
The 42-year-old was at the centre of the cricket world after an investigation into racism allegations against Azeem Rafiq emerged.
Rafiq alleged that he was the victim of racial harassment and bullying during his career with Vaughan’s name featured in the report.
“I had gone through a lot in those three years,” he said.
“I wasn’t necessarily worried about me because I can generally cope with everything, but I was much more concerned about what was going to happen to my family.
“I’m supposed to be this tough ex-England captain, but my body reacted in a way that I’m sure many people’s bodies do in the same situation
“The same illness can occur with bereavement. It’s that kind of loss.”
He admitted he was hesitant to speak out about his health battle as he feared his legacy and reputation would be viewed in a different light.
“I don’t know if I’m tougher than I thought, or weaker,” Vaughan says.
“There are two ways of looking at it. It does prove that I’m human.
“It’s not about how many caps you have, how many stripes you have, or how famous you are.
“In the end, we’re men, aren’t we? If we can do something tomorrow, we’ll do it tomorrow. But I’ve had this warning in my life, where my state got so bad, so quickly, that I had to go and see someone,” he continued.
“I just want positive energy. Stress is always going to be there, but this high-end stress can ruin your life. I just have to avoid that now. I understand that I can’t go through it again.
“I was never going to speak about it, but then I thought, ‘Wait a minute, there are probably quite a few people who go through similar and stay silent.’
“I don’t want this to appear as if I’m after any sympathy, because I’m not.
“But the main thing is to always stay positive. Hopefully, I can help people who have struggled.”