Former Eels forward David Gower has implored people to take mental health more seriously, at all stages of life.
“I had a 10-year career and by the end of it, I’d seen a lot of teammates struggle with mental health and wellbeing,” he told Wide World of Sports.
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Gower said having three kids of his own – the eldest in year 3, the middle in kindergarten and the youngest 18 months old – had made him realise that the battle for mental wellbeing needed to start far earlier than adulthood or our teenage years.
“Watching athletes at the top of their game struggle with it I thought ‘you know what? I’m equally as concerned for my kids’ – and what better place to start than with young kids and students.”
Gower retired from the NRL in 2020, and quickly turned his attention towards mental health – founding an organisation called Forge, which focuses on the wellbeing of schoolkids.
“If we can embed positive aspects of wellbeing, we have a real opportunity of essentially having a generation of kids who understand the importance of good mental health,” he said.
The 36-year-old believes that education is trending in the right direction – and that the days of telling kids to have a stiff upper lip and get on with it are behind us.
“Everyone always says ‘just be more resilient’ but what does that even mean? It’s a learned skill, resilience, and it’s made up of positive emotions, self-esteem, positive relationships – you can’t just wake up in your late teens and be resilient,” he said.
“The shift has definitely occurred – and I’ve seen it through what schools are doing and it’s extremely encouraging, and extremely important.
“The earlier we start empowering our kids, the earlier we’re going to have kids that have the skills required to deal with adversity. These are extremely important steps – what good are academics if you don’t actually feel good about yourself?”
Gower’s time at the top – especially at a club like Parramatta where fans are craving success after a long title drought – came with plenty of teammates who he saw first-hand doing it tough.
“Everything associated with pressure and expectation. Athletes are no different to anyone else, but there’s all these things that are part and parcel of being a professional athlete that you aren’t immune from.
“It’s hard to get to the elite level and it’s harder to stay there, but more importantly, it’s focusing on your mental wellbeing as well as your physical.
“Gone are the days of ‘real men don’t cry’. That is an absolutely archaic mentality that society has had for a long time, but I don’t think it’s still there, it is changing.
“But there are still people who suffer in silence.”
He said the primary goal above everything else was empowering people to speak up about their struggles.
“It’s OK to not feel great about yourself, but these are ways you can improve it – and you’re not alone.”
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